A couple of days back, Valentine's Day hit the world. I even updated my facebook status saying how I felt I was swimming in a sea of red.
Being one of the (self-proclaimed) anti-mush, anti-cheese and anti-lovey dovey stuff, I was positively flummoxed by all the proclamations of love on various platforms. By the end of the day, it became difficult to have a drink with a school friend without the waiter offering him a rose (yes, a RED ROSE) to give me! And the waiter did not give up when my friend sheepishly put the rose aside, he offered me one as well! (Not sure whether I was to give it to my male friend, but I preferred keeping it in the glass of water on our table).
Gist of the matter is, apparently, we now need a day to express our love for the ones we love. And that bothers me. Not in an idealistic way or anything, but just in the sense that I feel compelled to express that day. And sure enough, I did end up sending what I would define as a cheesy corny message to person and expected a similar reply. Sadly, it was not to be. But that's a different story.
Coming back to my point. Valentine's Day (or Rose Day or Chocolate Day etc) is a marketing opportunity and that is well established. Somehow, I find it intriguing to see how so many of us react to it. Whether we love the day or hate, we shall discuss it. Case in point, a very close friend and I ended up discussing the day over a completely unrelated post on my facebook wall. So I guess none of us are immune to the day or the trappings it brings with it.
At the end of the day, I ended up telling the same friend "I feel unloved". And I realise it was not because I did not get the response I expected from someone or because I sat their looking at people get gifts or felt absolutely single. It was because I was trying so hard to resist the day, that ultimately, when it crept upon me, I felt I had nothing and no one to love (or loved me, barring that ever loving potentially smothering lot called FAMILY).
Have we become so insecure in our daily lives that we crave attention and affection but will not accept it even to ourselves? I always maintain that work is the best companion. The reason - humans (and again that lot called family may be excluded) have the option to leave you, in my books, work doesn't. Having maintained this stance for years now (and been called a workaholic by most people I am close to), I now realise how blatantly stupid I have been. In one word (which may draw the ire of some elders) BALLS!!! Balls I feel best while working. Balls I feel human interactions are moot. Balls I feel a seeing my byline is better than a hug!
I am human. Not an Android or robot. I cannot programme myself not to yearn human warmth. Well, the problem with that is putting yourself out there, which exposes you to the risk of rejection or dejection (chose your poison as they say). I finally hear a little voice in me saying, "Your friends are right. Work doesn't hug you back. Of course its an adrenaline rush to be doing what you love and get paid for it. But what after that?"
Maybe I am not any different from the girls parading in red on Valentine's Day or the waiter insisting my male friend gives me a rose. Maybe I am just dysfunctional in the way I crave expression. Or, I am just different. Whatever I may be, I can say I am a closet romantic and finally I am OK with that!
(PS: Maybe someone out there will read the blog and surprise me dramatically. You know, it never pains to dream :D )
Being one of the (self-proclaimed) anti-mush, anti-cheese and anti-lovey dovey stuff, I was positively flummoxed by all the proclamations of love on various platforms. By the end of the day, it became difficult to have a drink with a school friend without the waiter offering him a rose (yes, a RED ROSE) to give me! And the waiter did not give up when my friend sheepishly put the rose aside, he offered me one as well! (Not sure whether I was to give it to my male friend, but I preferred keeping it in the glass of water on our table).
Gist of the matter is, apparently, we now need a day to express our love for the ones we love. And that bothers me. Not in an idealistic way or anything, but just in the sense that I feel compelled to express that day. And sure enough, I did end up sending what I would define as a cheesy corny message to person and expected a similar reply. Sadly, it was not to be. But that's a different story.
Coming back to my point. Valentine's Day (or Rose Day or Chocolate Day etc) is a marketing opportunity and that is well established. Somehow, I find it intriguing to see how so many of us react to it. Whether we love the day or hate, we shall discuss it. Case in point, a very close friend and I ended up discussing the day over a completely unrelated post on my facebook wall. So I guess none of us are immune to the day or the trappings it brings with it.
At the end of the day, I ended up telling the same friend "I feel unloved". And I realise it was not because I did not get the response I expected from someone or because I sat their looking at people get gifts or felt absolutely single. It was because I was trying so hard to resist the day, that ultimately, when it crept upon me, I felt I had nothing and no one to love (or loved me, barring that ever loving potentially smothering lot called FAMILY).
Have we become so insecure in our daily lives that we crave attention and affection but will not accept it even to ourselves? I always maintain that work is the best companion. The reason - humans (and again that lot called family may be excluded) have the option to leave you, in my books, work doesn't. Having maintained this stance for years now (and been called a workaholic by most people I am close to), I now realise how blatantly stupid I have been. In one word (which may draw the ire of some elders) BALLS!!! Balls I feel best while working. Balls I feel human interactions are moot. Balls I feel a seeing my byline is better than a hug!
I am human. Not an Android or robot. I cannot programme myself not to yearn human warmth. Well, the problem with that is putting yourself out there, which exposes you to the risk of rejection or dejection (chose your poison as they say). I finally hear a little voice in me saying, "Your friends are right. Work doesn't hug you back. Of course its an adrenaline rush to be doing what you love and get paid for it. But what after that?"
Maybe I am not any different from the girls parading in red on Valentine's Day or the waiter insisting my male friend gives me a rose. Maybe I am just dysfunctional in the way I crave expression. Or, I am just different. Whatever I may be, I can say I am a closet romantic and finally I am OK with that!
(PS: Maybe someone out there will read the blog and surprise me dramatically. You know, it never pains to dream :D )
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