We are after all, human.

We swear by the need for space (if not speed as well). We believe in the idiom 'To each his own' and many of us have made it our life mantra. We do not care for things and people that weigh us down and we definitely do not have time to be possessive and clingy. We are too cool for that.

We are from a time and generation that prides itself on the sense on individuality, focus on what matters (read career), appreciation for all things professional and supreme constraint when it comes to expression. Don't get me wrong, we love to express our views and opinions and all subjects under the sun, its the affect part we pride ourselves at hiding.

A shield of practicality and logic protects us from other's expectations from us and very often, our own feelings. We do not need to show people how much we love them. They can figure it our on their own, and if they can't, it's for lack of comprehension on their part, not lack of compassion on ours.

We believe in being non-confrontational when it comes to personal matters. We prefer not fighting, lest it require us to prod into our conscience and face what we feel about whom. We believe in pushing things under the carpet till one day, the carpet comes apart at the seams. Even then, rather than clear the mess, we run. We run under the pretense of the need to find a new adventure, a new mission. All the while, forgetting that the mess we escaped has pervaded into someone's existence and since that other may not be as 'emotionally efficient' as us, it does create an impact.

We forget in our defensive escapist way of life, that in shielding ourselves from the trappings that human emotions and interpersonal dealings bring us, we are actually hurting those we claim to love and care. But hey, the intention is not to hurt, its just us ya? We can't help it if our pristine and pragmatic view on things ends up hurting people.

I mean, so what if we cannot muster the courage to communicate the truth about a matter in a relationship? So what if we cannot gather the balls to call it off when we stop feeling or fight for someone when they decide to leave? So what if we find it unnecessary to express love nd concern for those we put on a pedestal a while back and praised endlessly?

I mean, where is the rush? We are not going anywhere are we?

It's ironic that we are gutsy and ambitious about our careers but feel, "This is not the time for dating or investing in a relationship. This is the time to earn." We are so scared to even consider a future with someone who admittedly we are attracted to, that we stop appreciating them and start taking them for granted (or at least that's how I guess they may feel).

Agreed we have flaws and so do the people around us. But are we really that callous to demand everything on our terms and dismiss anything on their's? Are we really so scared to accept someone's presence and importance in our life that we constantly make jokes on them under the garb of wanting to have fun.

Have we reached a point where we are incapable of maintaining a relationship just because we don't want to feel?

Remember. Prod memories. Poke at those images from school and college and various picnics and friend gatherings and functions and what not. Remember. Did we not want to feel wanted and needed and loved? Did we not feel betrayed when those who adored us left us high and dry all of a sudden? Did we not yearn for consistency in life? In the behaviour of others and in relationships at home and outside? We would be lying if we were to deny it.

Then why do we act so callous?

May be once in our lives we may take the bold step. Speak up. May be not bare our soul, but say enough to see the smile return on the face of that one we love but stopped saying we do. Express and share. May be not all of life's burdens and personal demons, but enough to assure those who love us that the fault is not in them, but in the circumstances.

We have our intentions in place maybe, but our efforts fail us and eventually, fail our relationships.

We are after all, human.

Where's my network yaar?

Belonging to a generation that is all but a slave to its smartphones, I am one of the lucky few to maintain some distance from my phone. This is not from some supreme will power or restraint I exercise on myself. I have Vodafone to thank for this 'healthy' habit since the network provider has decided never to facilitate any kind of network in my house.

By some miraculous luck, I have managed to get myself a nice rent controlled (touchwood, touchwood touchwood) apartment with NO network whatsoever. As a consequence, I am pretty sure I have blood pressure issues (from waiting for network on my phone once I am out of my house) and my family has fallen into the unhealthy habit of being reassured that I am home if my phone is out of coverage area (God forbid I am kidnapped and taken to some dark dingy basement where there is no network. My parents will be living in the false hope that 'all izz well' since well, who gets network at home anyway, right?)

Being a Vodafone loyalist, I kept making complaints and sticking my head out of the bedroom window in order to get some network. After almost three years, I have now given up. Being a journalist, I am not too comfortable with changing my number, so I felt the best way to go is Mobile Number Portability. But alas, Vodafone has other plans. My calls to the customer care center kept dropping while I was being transferred from one 'concerned' department to another. Frustrated and completely disillusioned, I hung up and decided to update my Facebook status and tweet about the incident. 

Well, THAT caught the pug's owner's attention and I was assured, nay reassured, that Vodafone would be 'Happy to Help' at the earliest. The earliest they could reach out to me was the next day. Even then, I was bombarded with the same questions that I had answered at least 5 times earlier and was given the same reassurances as before.

It never stops amusing me that had I not paid the bill, the reminder call would have come within an hour, but anyway.

I am currently 'co-operating' with the Vodafone India team while they send network engineers to survey the nearest cell site to my house and get back with their feedback by April 8.

What was more appalling than Vodafone extremely efficient and prompt customer complaint redressal, was that most of my friends seemed to face similar problems in with their network! One of my friends tells me never to opt for Airtel since he has been using it since the last 10 years and has seen a consistent drop in voice quality and network connectivity, not to mention inefficient 3G coverage. I was advised similar things about Idea and BSNL and MTNL and DOCOMO and RELIANCE and AIRCEL and what not. I actually have a friend who has changed some 3 number and ported in and out of three other networks!

I only hope these people get their act together. India is a country that loves to talk (how else do you think 11 telecom operators have managed to co-exist in the country?). And God forbid someone comes in the way. I may be one disgruntled customer whom the pug refuses to follow, but the number seems to be growing and there will be a time when telecom companies also will not be able to 'ullu banaving'.

Until then, I guess I shall continue living in the network black hole that is my abode and pray I do not get kidnapped and shipped off to a dingy network-less basement where I may die before anyone realises I am actually missing  and not chilling at home.